the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
