Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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