I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
