can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
