what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
