tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
