I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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