this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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