it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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