Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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