I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
