i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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