3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize