I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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