I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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