how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
