Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Did you just see the Batmobile???
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
