would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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