you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
