what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize