He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
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