either way he was missing a nipple.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
being pregnant is like rehab
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
