This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize