This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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