will power is for people who don't want to get laid
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize