i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
