If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
