That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
