i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
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