Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
