The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
