Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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