we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
send nudes
from the living room?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
