So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
