I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
