Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Randomize
