Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
