I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
