Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize