I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
