dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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