Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
