I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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