Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
