i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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