how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize