i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Randomize
