I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
