You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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