I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
He shit in the fireplace
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