He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
