Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Randomize
