I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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