strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Randomize
