I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
