is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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