Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
