Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
