how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
