If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
