WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
