Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Randomize
