Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
