Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
