I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
