Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
