he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Michael Bay diarrhea
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Randomize
