I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
